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All That You Leave Behind: A Memoir

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An acclaimed documentary filmmaker comes to terms with her larger-than-life father, the late New York Times journalist David Carr, in this fierce memoir of love, addiction, and family. Dad: What will set you apart is not talent, but will and a certain kind of humility. A willingness to let the world show you things that you play back as you grow as an artist. Talent An acclaimed documentary filmmaker comes to terms with her larger-than-life father, the late New York Times journalist David Carr, in this fierce memoir of love, addiction, and family. Dad: What will set you apart is not talent, but will and a certain kind of humility. A willingness to let the world show you things that you play back as you grow as an artist. Talent is cheap. Me: ok i will ponder these things. I am a carr. Dad: that should matter quite a bit, actually not the name but the guts of what that name means. A celebrated journalist, bestselling author, and recovering addict, David Carr was in the prime of his career when he collapsed in the newsroom of The New York Times in 2015. Shattered by his death, his daughter Erin Lee Carr, an up-and-coming documentary filmmaker at age twenty-seven, began combing through the entirety of their shared correspondence--1,936 items in total. What started as an exercise in grief quickly grew into an active investigation: Did her father's writings contain the answers to the questions of how to move forward in life and work without your biggest champion by your side? How could she fill the space left behind by a man who had come to embody journalistic integrity, rigor, and hard reporting, whose mentorship meant everything not just to her, but to the many who served alongside him? In All That You Leave Behind, David Carr's legacy is a lens through which Erin comes to understand her own workplace missteps, existential crises, relationship fails, and toxic relationship with alcohol. Featuring photographs and emails from the author's personal collection, this coming-of-age memoir unpacks the complex relationship between a daughter and her father, their mutual addictions and challenges with sobriety, and the powerful sense of work and family that comes to define them.


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An acclaimed documentary filmmaker comes to terms with her larger-than-life father, the late New York Times journalist David Carr, in this fierce memoir of love, addiction, and family. Dad: What will set you apart is not talent, but will and a certain kind of humility. A willingness to let the world show you things that you play back as you grow as an artist. Talent An acclaimed documentary filmmaker comes to terms with her larger-than-life father, the late New York Times journalist David Carr, in this fierce memoir of love, addiction, and family. Dad: What will set you apart is not talent, but will and a certain kind of humility. A willingness to let the world show you things that you play back as you grow as an artist. Talent is cheap. Me: ok i will ponder these things. I am a carr. Dad: that should matter quite a bit, actually not the name but the guts of what that name means. A celebrated journalist, bestselling author, and recovering addict, David Carr was in the prime of his career when he collapsed in the newsroom of The New York Times in 2015. Shattered by his death, his daughter Erin Lee Carr, an up-and-coming documentary filmmaker at age twenty-seven, began combing through the entirety of their shared correspondence--1,936 items in total. What started as an exercise in grief quickly grew into an active investigation: Did her father's writings contain the answers to the questions of how to move forward in life and work without your biggest champion by your side? How could she fill the space left behind by a man who had come to embody journalistic integrity, rigor, and hard reporting, whose mentorship meant everything not just to her, but to the many who served alongside him? In All That You Leave Behind, David Carr's legacy is a lens through which Erin comes to understand her own workplace missteps, existential crises, relationship fails, and toxic relationship with alcohol. Featuring photographs and emails from the author's personal collection, this coming-of-age memoir unpacks the complex relationship between a daughter and her father, their mutual addictions and challenges with sobriety, and the powerful sense of work and family that comes to define them.

30 review for All That You Leave Behind: A Memoir

  1. 4 out of 5

    Travel.with.a.book

    All that you leave behind I'm so thankful to the publisher for sending me a copy of "All That YouLeave Behind" and the author for sharing her story which it should be read or heard by everyone because not everyone has the will or courage to share her/his story to the world without making edits that didn't happen but the author Erin Lee Carr is brave and smart person sharing her memoir into a book that I wish it lasted more but good things always feel short. It's not up to me to judge someone's All that you leave behind I'm so thankful to the publisher for sending me a copy of "All That YouLeave Behind" and the author for sharing her story which it should be read or heard by everyone because not everyone has the will or courage to share her/his story to the world without making edits that didn't happen but the author Erin Lee Carr is brave and smart person sharing her memoir into a book that I wish it lasted more but good things always feel short. It's not up to me to judge someone's actions in life of what the author has been through. It didn't take me long enough to get into the story of Erin's life, I had never heard of the author before but I wish I had because she has inspired me and giving me goosebumps of a relief, it made me feel so good. Her words and huge love for her father is everything I ever wanted from someone's story, Erin doesn't hesitate to share her story of her romantic lover, her struggles of being an addict that is trying to build her good side at the same time wrecking her bad habits which all of us have and Erin shows that in every rain after it comes the rainbow, so I guess that's the short review of inspiring memoir of strongly talented Erin! I find is so inspiring that Erin wrote her story and the connection between David and Erin (father and daughter) everytime you try to write about your life you might feel like something is missing but "All That You Leave Behind" is a great memoir with everything perfect put together. Erin is the most honest author that writes exactly and not changing the perspectives of the characters, I'm grateful that I have read this memoir. The book helped me love and appreciate more my close family, the struggles that we have today will be forgotten tomorrow as long as we have our loved ones by our sides!

  2. 4 out of 5

    Rachel Jackson

    [In full disclosure, I received All That You Leave Behind as a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for an honest review.] Back in my journalism days, I used to be among the masses who loved David Carr's writing. A highly renowned New York Times journalist, his columns and tweets were legendary among fellow journos, and I remember being enthralled when the documentary "Page One" came out. When I heard about his daughter Erin Lee Carr's memoir about his life and their relationship, I was curious what [In full disclosure, I received All That You Leave Behind as a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for an honest review.] Back in my journalism days, I used to be among the masses who loved David Carr's writing. A highly renowned New York Times journalist, his columns and tweets were legendary among fellow journos, and I remember being enthralled when the documentary "Page One" came out. When I heard about his daughter Erin Lee Carr's memoir about his life and their relationship, I was curious what further informaiton she could provide about his life, separate from the gargantuan media reputation that he had both before and after his untimely death. Unfortunately, Carr's memoir falls flat of my expectations and wasn't able to hold my interest as I read along. The book is a chronicle of the relationship between David and Erin as they both struggled through addiction, careers and relationships with their families, but I found it devoid of compelling content and anything worth relating to. Instead, Erin Lee Carr sounded like a whiny, privileged girl the entire book through, making irresponsible choices, staying in denial, ignoring the feelings of people around her. I became annoyed with her the more she wrote about her life's experiences. Rather than providing a touching daughter's perspective into the life of David Carr, Erin Lee Carr made her father sound even more annoying and dangerous—which is eye-opening, for sure, but not in the way she was probably going for. And she also plays into that same tone herself, hyping up the party-girl reputation she had when she was drinking while not broadening her narrative into a deeper connection with her father. And indeed, Erin Lee Carr had so many opportunities to make All That You Leave Behind into a powerful memoir that connected father to daughter to community, but instead it was self-serving and frankly poorly written. She's a filmmaker, and that was obvious as I read along, since she failed to make meaningful stories or morals in her writing, the way that I kept hoping for and was disappointed about every time. Both she and her father have interesting stories if they were told properly, but it didn't work here. It was very disconnected and random in certain places, and the way she told the story didn't work with the content within it. It seems like the whole process of writing all of this out for the book was part of Erin Lee Carr's grieving process, which is certainly a healthy way to address those types of feelings. But it came across as much too stream-of-consciousness, word-vomit type of writing rather than a cohesive story. Telling a story as an output for grief has so much potential to leave an impact. But unfortunately I found myself doing a bit of hate-reading as I went, and I was wishing the book could be over with more quickly.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Book of the Month

    Why I love it by Book of the Month Erin: I have watched you in the middle of the city with a box of your office crap and alone in a room struggling to make beautiful important things. As someone who has seen a fair amount of talented young people up close, I can say that you are in the far reaches of that bunch. So wrote David Carr, the late New York Times columnist in an email to his daughter, the author of this heart-smart and dazzling memoir. Technically, this is Erins story of growing up, Why I love it by Book of the Month Erin: I have watched you in the middle of the city with a box of your office crap and alone in a room struggling to make beautiful important things. As someone who has seen a fair amount of talented young people up close, I can say that you are in the far reaches of that bunch. So wrote David Carr, the late New York Times columnist in an email to his daughter, the author of this heart-smart and dazzling memoir. Technically, this is Erin’s story of growing up, struggling through a string of internships, and finding her way into documentary filmmaking. But at its heart, this book is a tribute to David, the brilliant editor, former addict, and occasionally mercurial father. In fact, some of the best moments in All That You Leave Behind—a coming-of-age story set in the glamorous-yet-grimy world of New York media—are these father-daughter correspondences, which are by turns vulnerable, wise, whacky and ferociously affectionate. What’s interesting about this book is that it’s both deeply personal and universal. As a retelling of their relationship, it’s safe to say this book isn’t for anyone but Erin and David. On the other hand, by examining their bond, Erin arrives at a story that feels utterly relatable in its complications and kindnesses. Read more at: https://bookofthemonth.com/all-that-y...

  4. 5 out of 5

    Jennifer Bouchillon

    This is not a book I normally would have chosen for myself, but I read it as an ARC, and Im glad I did. It took me a little bit to get into it, maybe because I didnt know either Erin or David Carr. But ultimately I found it poignant and insightful, both to the relationship between a father and daughter, and as an inside look at generational addiction. I was inspired by the authors honesty in sharing her fears, struggles, mistakes, regrets, and her grief. I loved that she didnt paint herself or This is not a book I normally would have chosen for myself, but I read it as an ARC, and I’m glad I did. It took me a little bit to get into it, maybe because I didn’t know either Erin or David Carr. But ultimately I found it poignant and insightful, both to the relationship between a father and daughter, and as an inside look at generational addiction. I was inspired by the author’s honesty in sharing her fears, struggles, mistakes, regrets, and her grief. I loved that she didn’t paint herself or her father in a perfect light, but instead laid bare their shortcomings in a way that made these unknown-to-me people come to life and had me rooting for and grieving with them. I think I’ll now enjoy reading David Carr’s The Night of the Gun.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Marisa

    Repeat after me: having a good story to tell does not make you an author.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Scott Wilson

    For a book so frequently humbling to the author, it still suggests that much has been withheld. The net is something affecting but shallow: a grief memoir that, quite reasonably, takes for granted the reader's native interest in David Carr but does so at the expense of maximum interrogation, and an addiction memoir that likewise assumes, and frequently refers to, David Carr's own addiction and addiction memoir as a means to establish genetic connectivity without plumbing it very deeply, either. For a book so frequently humbling to the author, it still suggests that much has been withheld. The net is something affecting but shallow: a grief memoir that, quite reasonably, takes for granted the reader's native interest in David Carr but does so at the expense of maximum interrogation, and an addiction memoir that likewise assumes, and frequently refers to, David Carr's own addiction and addiction memoir as a means to establish genetic connectivity without plumbing it very deeply, either. There's also not a lot of questioning here about the layers of privilege attending the author's journey. One of the harsher, though perhaps least intended, takeaways about David Carr here is that, however earned it surely was, his own authority as a writer and thinker was thoroughly intertwined with that of the Times. The paper was mace and shield for him, and even here, in his daughter's book, there's the feeling that it infected him with a self-importance sometimes unbecoming -- and in keeping with that of his peers, especially in the Trump era that postdates his death. There's something sort of cringe-inducing, to me anyway, about the scenes of his wake and his funeral, with its media A-list. I would like to imagine that David Carr would be among the most critical media watchers were he alive today; but this book is a reminder that, to a certain echelon of media, of which Carr was a member and which he clearly relished, it's all a game. So, yeah, this is a book for people who miss David Carr, and it shows him as a devoted but complex and very flawed parent. It also shows that, while storytelling may be heritable, elitism and succession in media aren't good things.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Hannah

    This wasnt really what I expected. I expected more about how their relationship worked and formed who she is, but instead its mostly about her life. Im not really interested in reading about a completely random person just because her father was semi-well known. Why publish a book on your life thus far when its all about drinking and hating life? It seemed very self centered and narcissistic, for example wondering if her father was part of her success... of course he was! You didnt get elusive This wasn’t really what I expected. I expected more about how their relationship worked and formed who she is, but instead it’s mostly about her life. I’m not really interested in reading about a completely random person just because her father was semi-well known. Why publish a book on your life thus far when it’s all about drinking and hating life? It seemed very self centered and narcissistic, for example wondering if her father was part of her success... of course he was! You didn’t get elusive internships/paid internships when others aren’t paid on your own, you got them because your father was able to help. You didn’t make the contacts that started your career on your own. And that’s okay, but don’t pretend you’re dead set on doing it on your own and your own way when the opportunities afforded to you were because of him. I just felt like it was a little repetitive, preachy, and had no clear path until the last two chapters, which were the only redeeming qualities.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Stacey A. Prose and Palate

    I was gifted with a wonderful dad who told me over and over how much he loved me. So many people do not get that. Yes, we want more time but I, right now at this moment feel gratitude for what I had. ..... I try to say I love you every day to him. Just in case he is in a place quiet enough to hear it. The skeptic in me doubts that he listens, but I still do it. I stopped and started Erin Lee Carr's gorgeous memoir about six times last week. The only reason that I kept putting it down was because I was gifted with a wonderful dad who told me over and over how much he loved me. So many people do not get that. Yes, we want more time but I, right now at this moment feel gratitude for what I had. ..... I try to say “I love you” every day to him. Just in case he is in a place quiet enough to hear it. The skeptic in me doubts that he listens, but I still do it.” I stopped and started Erin Lee Carr's gorgeous memoir about six times last week. The only reason that I kept putting it down was because I could no longer see the words on the page through my tears. • • All That You Leave Behind is Erin’s powerful memoir and tribute to her late father David, who passed away very unexpectedly four years ago. Erin finds herself completely unmoored by his absence and so she begins to sift through their correspondence. I did this very thing after my dad died, reading texts and emails over and over... watching videos of him and playing back voicemails just so I could hear him one more time. Being the prolific journalist that her father was, Erin was fortunate to have thousands of tweets, emails and film at her finger tips and the end result of that is this incredibly stirring story of a flawed man whose encouragement and big love for his daughters never wavered. His words and the life lessons that are found throughout this book are not only a gift to her, but a gift to all of us. Through Erin’s words, my heart was shattered - I could hardly get through some of the passages because I completely understood what she was experiencing and they made me miss my dad so much. Through her father’s words, my heart was put back together again because I was tenderly reminded of what it’s like to bask in the love of someone who is your biggest champion whether you are riding high on the waves of success or have hit rock bottom and are not sure how you will ever get back up. I am very grateful for Sarita's (of @sunflowerwrites) beautiful soul who buddy read this book with me. ❤️ I hope you will take a moment on this Monday morning and reach out to someone you care about... life passes too quickly to leave things unsaid. Thank you, Book of the Month for another amazing selection.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Denise Cormaney

    I am a fan of the genre, and within a memoir the author has license to go wherever they want: its their story, after all! But this book just highlights why books needs editors, even if it just seems like you are simply reading someones life story. The best memoirs dont show the seams that hold the thing together. Every book needs structure. Is this book supposed to be an homage to her dad and their relationship? An addiction memoir with no real self-reflection and a few throwaway sentences about I am a fan of the genre, and within a memoir the author has license to go wherever they want: it’s their story, after all! But this book just highlights why books needs editors, even if it just seems like you are simply reading someone’s life story. The best memoirs don’t show the seams that hold the thing together. Every book needs structure. Is this book supposed to be an homage to her dad and their relationship? An addiction memoir with no real self-reflection and a few throwaway sentences about getting sober? An un-selfaware testament to how privilege works? A millennial who doesn’t appreciate the amazing opportunities given to her because of who her father was? (seemed like there was a lot of whining to this Gen Xer’s ears.) This book was all over the place. Perhaps you need to already be a David Carr fan to enjoy this book? People in the industry need to be honest: if they read this memoir by an unknown 20-something with an unfamous father, it would not be publishable. It just wouldn’t.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Athena Mae Rupas

    All That You Leave Behind is written by Erin Carr, the beloved New York Times columnist David Carr who passed away February 12, 2015. In this memoir, Erin Carr talks about her own struggles with addiction, which her father battled too as chronicled in his own memoir Night of the Gun. Erin's book is essentially about her relationship with her father who was also her mentor. She tells about how she faces many of the same demons (addiction) that her father did as well. What I liked the most about All That You Leave Behind is written by Erin Carr, the beloved New York Times columnist David Carr who passed away February 12, 2015. In this memoir, Erin Carr talks about her own struggles with addiction, which her father battled too as chronicled in his own memoir Night of the Gun. Erin's book is essentially about her relationship with her father who was also her mentor. She tells about how she faces many of the same demons (addiction) that her father did as well. What I liked the most about the book was that Erin includes email exchanges with her father, so it's as if you get to hear his voice in the book. I think that concept is really cool and unique. It allows Erin to really give us a real sense of what their relationship was. I had a hard time putting my kindle down, I was that enthralled with the book. I've always been a big fan of David Carr and I am glad NetGalley allowed me to preview this book in exchange for my honest review.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Claire Gibson

    This book is full of wisdom. I listened on audible, but plan to am buy a copy - if not for the beautiful way Erin shares about her battle with substance abuse/alcoholism, then for the incredible e-mails included that would help me in my efforts as a writer. Every page is full of lessons and kindness and Erin's gut-wrenching vulnerability. Bravo.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Michelle

    Fantastic memoir written by a woman who loses her (fascinating, complicated, famous in some circles) father far too soon. Beautifully written and an excellent listen on audiobook.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Samantha Grenier

    2.5-⭐: I think the best way to summarize this memoir is by the following line: My dad forwarded my emails from his account with the subject heading My kid, your world, knowing that his addy would get better play than ecarr@wisc.edu. Aint that the truth! God bless daddys golden key network and contact list. This book seems to be highly recommended to David Carrs fans, but I dont know why. This memoir feels like an attempt to cash in on his reputation, without indulging anything new. Erin has done 2.5-⭐️: I think the best way to summarize this memoir is by the following line: “My dad forwarded my emails from his account with the subject heading ‘My kid, your world,’ knowing that his addy would get better play than ecarr@wisc.edu.” Ain’t that the truth! God bless daddy’s golden key network and contact list. This book seems to be highly recommended to David Carr’s fans, but I don’t know why. This memoir feels like an attempt to cash in on his reputation, without indulging anything new. Erin has done well for herself—I want to read about that. There is a clear struggle (drug and alcohol abuse), but these details are murky. Other than addiction and an exploitable reputation, that’s all David left behind. Sure there are sisters and a step mother, but... I guess they can write their own memoirs? I know my review is harsh, I mean, how can I rate someone else’s memoir? I do have an interest in Erin’s documentary work and I also learned some solid interview tips, which initially had me wavering between a 2 and 3 star rating. In the end, those were David Carr’s words which Erin regurgitated back to us. The writing is just okay, with large blocks of personal emails, letters, and correspondences. I’m not rating her whole life story, but a slice of her career trajectory, which was, frankly, written and revised for her. The book is a bit name-droppy: this is how a father and his industry buddies built (and re-built) a career for one of his daughters. Books I would prefer to read from Erin in the future: sexism in the workplace (preach), alcoholism & addiction & recovery, or anything on media relations and documentary making. I wanted to like THIS book, but it only highlighted the lack of effort taken to groom new talent in the media and creative industries.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Anthony De Rosa

    Erin's writing debut is crackling. Her words leap off the page. Punchy, to the point but without lacking details that paint a vivid picture of a chaotic life that she's managed to navigate through grit and hustle. The shadow of her legendary father looms large, a double edged sword that helped open doors but also forced her to prove her own talents, which she's done with this memoir and her exceptional documentary work. It stands on its own, but also works as a great compliment to her father's Erin's writing debut is crackling. Her words leap off the page. Punchy, to the point but without lacking details that paint a vivid picture of a chaotic life that she's managed to navigate through grit and hustle. The shadow of her legendary father looms large, a double edged sword that helped open doors but also forced her to prove her own talents, which she's done with this memoir and her exceptional documentary work. It stands on its own, but also works as a great compliment to her father's Night Of The Gun, filling in the spaces where I wished to have heard more of her side of the story. Erin bravely shares the raw details of her complicated family and romantic relationships, struggles with addiction, the deep despair that comes with the loss of a father/mentor, and her strive to find her place as an artist on her own terms and merits. Erin managed to capture both the darkness and the light of her experience and provides a useful guide for how others might also find their way through to the other side.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Rana

    I just cannot tease out my feelings about this book from my feelings about the author's father and his writing and thus I cannot really review this. Sorry not sorry. Also, sorry not sorry for crying on the bus in the morning reading about her reactions and grief to her father's death.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Ariella Abuaf

    The thing about parents is that to you they seem normal. From the outside, others may perceive them as superhuman, wise beyond belief, a mentor to many, but your kid just sees Fahja. Having an admired parent can be a gift, this person is able to pass along knowledge to you constantly, make you a better person and teach you the ins and outs of life that others are desperately seeking answers to. In all that you leave behind, David passes along these answers were all so desperately seeking, but The thing about parents is that to you they seem normal. From the outside, others may perceive them as superhuman, wise beyond belief, a mentor to many, but your kid just sees Fahja. Having an admired parent can be a gift, this person is able to pass along knowledge to you constantly, make you a better person and teach you the ins and outs of life that others are desperately seeking answers to. In all that you leave behind, David passes along these answers we’re all so desperately seeking, but this book is more than that. Besides learning all the Carrisms, we’re learning how we can be better communicators with our own parents and learn from those closest to us and not these superhumans. We each have a different relationship with our parent(s). Walking in their footsteps is a gift and a curse. Their years beyond us allows us to learn from their mistakes and do it better. But then again, we have the pressure to be as good as them if not better. Many of us have struggled with how to make our own mistakes but also listen to this wise parent in our lives. The wisdom Erin has imparted on us has inspired me. I often times struggle with taking my fathers advice for what it’s worth and instead chock it up to his desire to control my life. Though this book speaks multitudes to the struggle and grief you feel when losing a parent too young, it teaches us to be thankful for the parent(s) we have in our life. How can we learn from them? How can we push back when needed when we disagree with their advice or views on how we should live our lives? All that you leave behind has taught me to be thankful for my dad; use his wisdom and guidance, understand it comes from a place of deep love and recognize that others would leap up to get this advice from a mentor in their own field. Though this may seem like a book about grief and coping, it is not. This book teaches each of us to use our parents for the knowledge they posses. Use the lessons Erin learned along the way, continue to use our parent(s) as an ally and expand on the knowledge David may not have been able to communicate.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Barbara Zeller

    A raw, honest, no punches pulled memoir. For fans of David or Erin Carr, budding journalists, grieving souls, this book is a must read. Superbly written. Could not put it down. Erin talks about how her dad mentored her into journalism, his invaluable advice and tough love. She is brutally honest about her and his struggles with alcohol, the pain it caused them both. She expertly shows the love he felt for his family and work. We are all flawed. Erin puts hers right out there. She has picked up A raw, honest, no punches pulled memoir. For fans of David or Erin Carr, budding journalists, grieving souls, this book is a must read. Superbly written. Could not put it down. Erin talks about how her dad mentored her into journalism, his invaluable advice and tough love. She is brutally honest about her and his struggles with alcohol, the pain it caused them both. She expertly shows the love he felt for his family and work. We are all flawed. Erin puts hers right out there. She has picked up the story-telling gift from her dad, with a lot of hard work. I look forward to her future endeavors.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Laura Tremaine

    This grief memoir was well-written (outside of a few repetitive verbal tics) and the first few chapters took my breath away with sadness over the loss of David Carr. Ultimately, though, this turns into a bit of an addiction memoir, which are tough for me to read. And although I can fully appreciate that the author was a bit of a mess before and after her father's death, this got a little too self-deprecating by the end.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Tamara

    It was just okay!

  20. 4 out of 5

    Stacia Manion

    To disclose all of the reasons why I relate SO hard to this book would be an overshare of the longest and most cringeworthy sort. The book is short, but I took in every word slowly and will do so again, no doubt. Additionally, I took a night off from reading to watch Thought Crimes, which I can also wholly 5-star recommend (though, I agree with your dad, girl: wayyy too much of Gil eating!) And finally, I took MANY many moments to text my dad and a full two hours this last Saturday to speak with To disclose all of the reasons why I relate SO hard to this book would be an overshare of the longest and most cringeworthy sort. The book is short, but I took in every word slowly and will do so again, no doubt. Additionally, I took a night off from reading to watch Thought Crimes, which I can also wholly 5-star recommend (though, I agree with your dad, girl: wayyy too much of Gil eating!) And finally, I took MANY many moments to text my dad and a full two hours this last Saturday to speak with him on the phone (ON THE PHONE - THAT'S NOT ME). It was lovely and David Carr's words of encouragement (and disappointment) to Erin are just so similar to my own father's unwavering support (and disappointment) for me; this memoir made me want to hug him every last day of his life and thank him endlessly for being my amazing dad.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Jillian

    I really liked this book. Im not big on media or movies or things like that, but still found the story compelling. It was a good tribute to her father and it was really easy to read. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review. I really liked this book. I’m not big on media or movies or things like that, but still found the story compelling. It was a good tribute to her father and it was really easy to read. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Mary

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. One of the best descriptions of death and the grieving process I've ever read. Very helpful for folks going through loss.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Melanie

    Erin Carr poured utter and raw honesty and emotion in her memoir, All That You Leave Behind. I admire and respect her courage to share her tumultuous past and her intense relationship she had with her dad and family with her readers. She must have struggled as she recounted her life as she chose which parts to share, and Im guessing she shed many a tear and experienced grief and sorrow again and again as she wrote it. I found her story beautifully told, and though I am not familiar with her or Erin Carr poured utter and raw honesty and emotion in her memoir, All That You Leave Behind. I admire and respect her courage to share her tumultuous past and her intense relationship she had with her dad and family with her readers. She must have struggled as she recounted her life as she chose which parts to share, and I’m guessing she shed many a tear and experienced grief and sorrow again and again as she wrote it. I found her story beautifully told, and though I am not familiar with her or her father, I am now intrigued to learn more about them.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Janice

    Mixed feelings about this one. I respect Carr's honesty about her addiction problems and the extent to which her famous father boosted her career, but didn't much care for her as a person. It also felt like the book was written too soon. She hasn't achieved enough distance or maturity for a truly reflective memoir, and it felt like she wrote it as soon after her father's death as she did as a marketing strategy. The father-child relationship was a complex one. Having a father that's so deeply Mixed feelings about this one. I respect Carr's honesty about her addiction problems and the extent to which her famous father boosted her career, but didn't much care for her as a person. It also felt like the book was written too soon. She hasn't achieved enough distance or maturity for a truly reflective memoir, and it felt like she wrote it as soon after her father's death as she did as a marketing strategy. The father-child relationship was a complex one. Having a father that's so deeply invested and involved in a child's life and fledgling career can be a blessing and a curse. A curse because, for instance, of how it can foster dependency.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Isabel Arjmand

    Erin Lee Carr has an unusual story, and I admire her willingness to dive into stories that paint her in an unflattering light, and that reveal her fathers weaknesses. At the same time, I thought this book was too loosely edited, with stories and thoughts that felt half-finished at most, but were never revisited. The first 50 or so pages provide a clear enough picture of Erin and her fathers relationship, and then the next 170 or so pages meander without ever going deeper. Many of the stories Erin Lee Carr has an unusual story, and I admire her willingness to dive into stories that paint her in an unflattering light, and that reveal her father’s weaknesses. At the same time, I thought this book was too loosely edited, with stories and thoughts that felt half-finished at most, but were never revisited. The first 50 or so pages provide a clear enough picture of Erin and her father’s relationship, and then the next 170 or so pages meander without ever going deeper. Many of the stories provide a series of events and details but fail to connect to a larger message.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Allison Oliphant

    To begin, I am not familiar with David Carr and that likely plays a part on my feelings about this book. I heard Erin on Armchair Expert and was instantly interested in reading her book having enjoyed her documentaries, but I think I like her less after reading. She can attribute really all of her accomplishments to the connections and involvement of her father, and the whole narrative seemed very privileged and not self reflective at all. I did cry a bit at the very end and appreciated the last To begin, I am not familiar with David Carr and that likely plays a part on my feelings about this book. I heard Erin on Armchair Expert and was instantly interested in reading her book having enjoyed her documentaries, but I think I like her less after reading. She can attribute really all of her accomplishments to the connections and involvement of her father, and the whole narrative seemed very privileged and not self reflective at all. I did cry a bit at the very end and appreciated the last chapter or two, but the rest was not my favorite.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Katie

    OH MY. I know David Carr the writer & it was heartbreaking and raw and beautiful to read about David Carr the father. I give Erin Lee Carr so much credit for sharing such a personal look at her relationship with her father, a man so many people felt a connection to. Especially since much of the story was about her own personal battles. She is a talented young woman who got so much from her father.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Susan Morris

    Might round up to 3 1/2 stars. It wasnt a hard read, but Im apparently not media savvy - I had no idea who this father & daughter were. My main issue was buying this as a memoir of a 26-year-old. Yes, her fathers sudden death was difficult, but she seemed whiny & annoying at times. A few times she talked about her years at a job - really?! (Own) Might round up to 3 1/2 stars. It wasn’t a hard read, but I’m apparently not media savvy - I had no idea who this father & daughter were. My main issue was buying this as a memoir of a 26-year-old. Yes, her father’s sudden death was difficult, but she seemed whiny & annoying at times. A few times she talked about her “years” at a job - really?! (Own)

  29. 4 out of 5

    Shannon Wise

    David Carr was a reporter for the New York Times. He also was an addict. He wrote about it in his memoir Night of the Gun. He died suddenly a few years ago and his daughter, Erin, has written a memoir about her life, her father, his death, and the aftermath. She has written a wrenching, gut-punch of a book. It was honest and raw and is a must-read. Erin Lee Carr grew up in the shadow of a larger-than-life man. Her dad was tough on her. But he was also her biggest cheerleader. She shares emails David Carr was a reporter for the New York Times. He also was an addict. He wrote about it in his memoir Night of the Gun. He died suddenly a few years ago and his daughter, Erin, has written a memoir about her life, her father, his death, and the aftermath. She has written a wrenching, gut-punch of a book. It was honest and raw and is a must-read. Erin Lee Carr grew up in the shadow of a larger-than-life man. Her dad was tough on her. But he was also her biggest cheerleader. She shares emails and gchats they had about life and career. The book brings you inside their lives and provides a touching, real look at her dad - her hero. I loved this book because it was raw and unflinching. Erin writes so candidly about the havoc her dad's death brought to her and her family's life. She is honest about her life as well - her tendency towards addiction (no doubt inherited from both her parents), her non-relationship with her mother, and her tenuous relationship with her stepmother. She talks about her drinking and the multitudes of embarrassment it brought to her. Through it all her dad was her rock. He tried to help her with sobriety. He gave her career advice. She was reluctant to use his name to open doors, but did so. When he died, the rug was pulled out from under her and she reacted to that badly. The fact that she's brave enough to write about all of this without making excuses and shouldering the responsibility of her behavior made me like this book all the more. She doesn't glamorize addiction. She portrays it for what it is- blackouts and all. She also discusses the toll her behavior took on her personal relationships. She talks about how devastating her father's death has been for her, and at first how upset she was that the general public would comment on it. She has since come to appreciate when people relay their stories because it shows her how much he meant to so many people. I really liked this book. However, for some people, it might be really hard to read. Be forewarned the book discusses some difficult and possibly triggering topics. Otherwise, it's a fantastic book and I'm glad I read it. I won this book from Goodreads and received no compensation in exchange for this review. The opinions contained herein are mine and mine alone.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Richard Clark

    As someone whose dad also died just as my life was getting started, this read like an aspirational account. Carr understood deeply the nature of her relationship with her dad well before his death. My dad died when I was in my late twenties. I was filled with regrets. But in All That You Leave Behind, I got to live vicariously through Carr, here, and the numerous opportunities she had to appreciate her father before he was gone. It helped me with closure, and it helped me to understand with more As someone whose dad also died just as my life was getting started, this read like an aspirational account. Carr understood deeply the nature of her relationship with her dad well before his death. My dad died when I was in my late twenties. I was filled with regrets. But in All That You Leave Behind, I got to live vicariously through Carr, here, and the numerous opportunities she had to appreciate her father before he was gone. It helped me with closure, and it helped me to understand with more clarity the deep bonds between a father and their child. My father's early death will always be a loose thread, but this book helped me untangle it a bit more.

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